Will Herondale VS Jem Carstairs Rap Battle
by QUACK Inc
Summary: We all say that Will and Jem are incomparable to each other, but are they really? In this rap battle, with Carson as Will and Miles as Jem, let's actually see if there actually IS a victor between the parabatai!


Will Herondale VS Jem Carstairs Rap Battle

With Carson as Will and Miles as Jem

Will: I'm William and yeah I'm a Herondale  
You probably heard of that last name without fail  
I'm famous and yeah so are my descendants  
Here in this family we're all 'bout independence  
I read books and I quote 'em and they make women swoon  
And my looks are more beautiful than the night moon  
Speaking of moons I'm the dark side of it  
I'm mysterious in the beginning and I know Tessa liked it  
And the Institute looks to me for warring advice  
I'M the smart one, to be more precise.

Jem: You may be the warrior, but I've got the heart  
I keep everyone

from tearing each other apart  
Mostly from all the arguments you start  
My music is more beautiful than all your dumb poetry  
I'm kinder and a better person than you'll ever be  
Your mysterious ways only creep Tessa out  
I'm the one who knows how to take a lady out  
I've got hair of silver and a heart of gold  
And I stay strong even though my death has been foretold

Will: So you say you're strong - we all know that's not true  
I'm the pillar of strength that you hold on to  
I buy all your drugs, I hold you when you cough  
And I kept my mouth shut when you proposed to the girl I loved  
See Tessa chose me before she chose you  
I had to push her away - that's all I had to do  
She went to you second, that's all you'll ever be  
A second to her heart, a second to my beauty  
And I got you to be my parabatai - remember that day?  
You underestimated my knife throwing in every possible way

Jem: She came to me second cause I didn't jump ahead  
Didn't write her awful poetry and leave it by her bed  
I made her laugh and live again when you broke her heart  
I stood by you constantly even when you stood apart  
You think I need your support, but can't you see?  
You'd be dead a hundred times by now if not for me  
I'm a pro on the violin,  
Silver hair is stylin,  
I can keep you smilin'  
In short: a perfect gentleman  
You think you're handsome, but I have an angelic look  
Better than being dark and brooding with my nose in a book

Will: You? A perfect gentleman - don't make me scoff  
Where's the yin fen that was supposed to last a year run off?  
Oh right you inhaled all of it to convince Tessa to stay  
That's how desperate you were so she wouldn't go away  
Went masquerading with T at Benedict's party  
Drank some enchanted drink that got her to kiss me  
The thing that keeps me alive isn't all in an emerald box  
You may have been a Silent Brother but I believed in demon pox

And yeah you're angelic - maybe a bit too much  
You're too innocent for anything - like kissing and such  
And that awful poetry made her laugh despite our rough patches  
And she enjoyed me more than you even in small snatches  
When she was kidnapped I was her hero to save the day  
She chose to be a Herondale instead of Tessa Gray  
And I read books because it damages my ignorance  
It's no wonder your words to Tessa make no difference

Jem: You had to drug her to kiss you? Man, that's pathetic

If it had been REAL, then I'd be sympathetic

She chose you only when I could be with her no longer  
Through the century, her love for me only grew stronger  
Some people are insensitive, but you take the cake  
Charlotte, Henry, Tessa - I stayed alive for your sakes  
I'm a nice guy but I'm not afraid to slap you when you need it  
I wasn't strong in life, but to cheat death, I succeeded  
I lived to fight another day despite the yin fen  
No pun intended - I'm a real gem

Will: Hey parabatai I know this is unlike me  
But all I ever wanted was you beside me

You were my greatest sin and still are when I was alive  
I'd do anything for you - even save your drugs when you were deprived  
And I grew almost insane when you were taken from me - I almost killed a whole pack of werewolves because of you, you dummy!  
You're who I go to when I want to get the feels off my chest  
So I'm just putting this out there: Jem, you da best

Jem: Um . . . Will . . . are you quite sure you're all right?

If others see dark in you, I'll always see the light  
Stand by you even when your eyes look haunted  
Being your brother,  
That's all I ever wanted


End file.
